I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
