Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
