he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I supernannyed him into submission
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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