it's too hot outside to masturbate.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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