I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
