She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
