Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
