Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
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