my vag is so smooth its legendary
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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