sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
