Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
