you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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