And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
