My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
