Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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