It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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