she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
