Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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