Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
