$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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