In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
