is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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