you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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