watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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