So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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