Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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