this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
