if you like me you must not know who I am
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
