is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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