Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
