great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
