she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
