4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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