I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
