I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
