Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
