My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My breasts were aching with rage.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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