I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
