I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
