I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
