Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
