I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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