Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
