I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
