I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
