try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
