capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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