Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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