Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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