do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
