They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
